Opinion column: ‘Bluey’ is an emotional ride for families
My family and I sold our home this past spring.
We’re now enduring the whole bit – building a new one, moving to a new town, the kids starting a new school and the parents starting new jobs. I’m surprised there’s not a second dog in the mix here.
My two boys are ages 7 and 10, still childlike enough that I naively didn’t think this big shake would haunt them as much as it did.
I thought maybe my older one would have a difficult time leaving friends – and he still does – but it was my younger one who took such an emotional blow.
Parenthood is like that, mocking you for thinking you have the kids all figured out.
I had heard there was a new “Bluey” episode around the time we were moving – not another 7-minute episode like most the others, but a 28-minute season finale that had both parents and children needing a Kleenex.
Family time! A nice distraction from stress! I swooned.
We did the baths and put on the pajamas and popped the popcorn and then hopped into bed to watch yet another fantastic episode with Bluey and Bingo, Bandit and Chilli. But was it?
“Bluey” is an Australian-based animated TV show that follows a young blue heeler pup and her family. It began in 2018, has released three darling seasons thus far, and all can be streamed in the U.S. on Disney+.
Parents commend the show for its pomp of tenderness, the thoughtful dialogue and showcase of admirable, unstructured play we all long to see in our living rooms.
The light and heavy are essentially treated as one and the same in the themes, and the show can make you feel as if the responsibility to be a parent is a privilege, not a burden.
A couple years ago, “Bluey” creators began a theatrical adaptation of the television series to continue its squeeze on families’ hearts around the world. Just like the show, “Bluey’s Big Play” touches beautifully on imagination, quality family time and the creative spirit within the child. The tour will return to the Washington Pavilion on July 23-24.
Sioux Falls first welcomed the Bluey puppets last summer to a sold-out audience. Gina Ruhberg, the Pavilion’s director of performances, says that family-friendly shows always do well here and that booking them is so critical to the success of diversifying entertainment for the city but also for the children in our community.
“Once you get them hooked at a young age, those are your future ticket buyers,” she says.
The “Bluey” performances next week keenly reflect the many opportunities local families have in Sioux Falls to connect with one another and enjoy an adventure right at home.
The Pavilion has brought in Blippi and Dora the Explorer, and a magic show is coming soon. The Orpheum presented “Finding Nemo,” “Alice in Wonderland,” “The Lion King” and many others this year alone and is selling tickets now for “The Wizard of Oz” and “Freaky Friday” before years’ end.
For many families, theater will win out in the choice to either take a vacation or see a show, the evening itself a magical adventure still providing the closeness any beach would afford.
Gina says when tours come to town, they often comment on the friendliness of our community and how much there is to see and do.
“Sioux Falls is the best kept secret for family culture,” she says.
We are all so eager to simply enjoy time together, and that’s exactly all I wanted when we snuggled up with the kids on a Friday night to watch the “Bluey” finale.
Have you seen the episode that aired in April? I spoil it for you here, but it threw me. Oddly, it was about the charming dog family selling their home, nearly a risky prank I was playing out on my kids. I only knew that the episode was an emotional one, not that it was this close to home.
My husband and I shared many panicked glances, but then I thought around 14 minutes in, Hey, what a great opportunity for the boys to see that other families sell their home, too!
“Bluey” is so clever, so universal like that.
Except this wasn’t that special moment. The decision to leave their home was so agonizing that the mum and dad decided to remove the For Sale sign from their yard and stay put. What!
Of course, my younger son expected this from us at once as well. “Everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to,” Bluey’s cousin Calypso says toward the end of the episode.
My son did not buy it. Many gentle conversations followed as well as some nights holding each other feeling tender but honored to endure as a family.
Bluey gave us the context we needed to meet each other in the vulnerable space that’s always waiting for families, if we are so willing to lean.
I encourage you to take your kids out to dinner, buy them the popcorn and the unnecessary tour merch and enjoy this beautiful show at the Pavilion, and the many others that unite us.
Let’s get out there.
Originally published in the Argus Leader in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Local gym coaches compete on NBC’s ‘American Ninja Warrior’
I have a 10-year-old son. He has 10-year-old friends. I know how this one goes.
These kids spend an inordinate amount of time gawking at the YouTube videos. They record trick shots in the backyard. They back flip off the diving board, they back flip off the trampoline, they climb the roof to see if they can shoot a basket into the neighbor’s driveway hoop. (And they actually make it.)
Then they watch NBC’s “American Ninja Warrior” in their living rooms with their parents on a Monday night, and they say to themselves, I want to be like that! My son commenced the dream just last week, mesmerized by the talent on the TV screen.
Drew Nester was 12 years old when he first saw the show and hence started practicing ninja on his own.
In a backyard in Iowa, he was the neighbor kid tying ropes onto trees to catapult from and perfecting cliffhangers underneath his deck. Then he trained with cannonballs and nun-chucks while stationed in Qatar as a combat medic for the U.S. Army. Now on Monday, you can watch it all payoff for him in the semi-finals of “American Ninja Warrior.”
“I always wanted to compete in a sport, but I was the smallest kid. But then I would watch ‘Ninja Warrior’ and all the athletes were maybe 5-foot-7, 140 pounds. Then when I started going to the gym, I saw I was good at it, too. Ninja is my safe space.”
“I know it sounds ridiculous,” Nester says, now 23 and coaching at 605 Ninja in the Western Mall. “I tell my mom when I’m 13 years old that we need to build a ninja warrior course at our house because I was going to be on this show. But I was already doing parkour and free running at that age. I knew I was going to do this.”
“American Ninja Warrior” is a reality TV show that began in 2009, a competition in which athletes attempt four courses to win a $1 million prize. The sport has evolved tremendously over time, with competitions worldwide and applications nearing 100,000 per season for the reality TV show alone. Might we even see ninja as a sport in the Olympics someday?
But, for now, Nester has local competition. Lincoln High School senior Josh Miller is also competing on season 16 of “American Ninja Warrior,” and we could see both athletes on upcoming episodes.
“My story is a bit simpler,” says Miller, who grew up in Sioux Falls with equally supportive parents and a similar course in his backyard. He, too, coaches at 605 Ninja today. “It goes back to fifth grade, when friends were swinging on the monkey bars at school and looking cool. I just wanted to keep up with them.”
He ran cross country and track in high school and tried football and soccer but says no other sport compares to ninja.
“Not even close,” he says. “Ninja is my safe place.”
What is ninja?
Safe is an ironic word.
Ninja training involves ropes, rings, laché bars, parkour, free climbing, leaps and this thing called a salmon ladder, an obstacle in which two vertical posts hold a series of rungs and a horizontal bar. The goal is to leap toward the top rung and back down again. You’d first need to knock out a few dozen pullups to even attempt the ladder. I mean, good luck.
Parkour sounds even more reckless – an acrobatic discipline in which athletes try to get from point A to B in the fastest way possible, like a villain being chased in the city. Watching both parkour and ninja – watching the show – is like a gaping what did I just see? moment. It seems even the athlete himself is impressed.
“With the show, I’m kind of surprised I did as well as I could, actually,” says Miller, who got accepted onto the show the first time he applied. “But I was just happy to run the course.”
To compete in ninja involves raw upper body strength, speed, technique, focus, stamina, and, above all, the courage to believe you can do it.
“I always wanted to compete in a sport,” says Nester, who also competed on season 14 of ANW, “but I was always the smallest kid. When I got into high school, I wasn’t even five feet tall yet. But then I would watch ‘Ninja Warrior’ and all the athletes were maybe 5-foot-7, 140 pounds. Then when I started going to the gym, I saw I was good at it, too, and it also was a ton of fun.”
As for 18-year-old Miller, his demeanor will fool you. He is quiet, reserved, kind and has few words. But then he flies along the courses at such a superhero’s pace, you wonder just how much beast is inside the boy.
“Josh leads by example by being humble,” says fellow 605 coach Boston VanDonselaar, “while Drew leads by example in his confidence. He shows kids and adults that it’s ok to be nervous but to go out on the course and use that for a confident mindset.”
You see brawn on the show, but ninja is a mental game, and that’s where Nester’s vivacious determination and Miller’s humility triumphs. It empowers many.
“The thing that sold us was how great the coaches are with kids,” says local mother Catherine Newman, who’s 8-year-old son, Henry, attends classes at 605 Ninja. “They are so encouraging and know how to build kids up at their age levels. It’s phenomenal.”
Overcoming fear to have fun
605 Ninja owner Jason Steinberg admits his business is less gymnasium and power and more sanctuary and support.
“What has helped us here is the culture we’ve built,” he says. “We have a strong belief that the people who work for us are going to be influential role models for the kids.”
Steinberg, a former personal trainer, and his wife, Lacy, a former cheerleading coach, opened the gym in 2018, one of the first and only ninja training facilities in the state. There are classes and summer camps and open gyms for all ages – it’s a riot for families – but the facility is also an environment for ninja warriors like Nester and Miller and 8-year-old Henry to test themselves.
“Ninja is 90 percent failure and 10 percent success,” says Steinberg, who also competed on “ANW” on season nine. “So we focus on building good character, confidence, problem-solving techniques and respect.
“They’re becoming stronger, healthier and happier kids.”
Nester calls Steinberg a mentor and a good friend. Miller says even before he became a student or a coach at 605 Ninja, he looked up to Steinberg in a way that felt intimidating to be around him. But Steinberg has that presence about him.
“Jason has taught me everything I know,” says Miller, who still trains with both Steinberg and Nester – and many of the other 605 coaches who plan to try out for season 17. “He’s definitely a really big role model for us.”
At 605 Ninja, no one talks about being afraid of such a dangerous sport. It’s just hard work, loud music, moments of thrill and a mission statement on the wall that reads, “Changing Lives One Obstacle at a Time.”
“There are kids here who are going to be better than the both of us in a few years,” Nester says. “And I think a lot of that is because they’ve got guys like us who’ve already done it. We can give them the tools we found and the advice they need to make it.”
“It feels good to give back to the next generation,” Miller adds.
“You did it, bro! Let’s go!” Nester shouts as a student makes it across the course without ever dropping his grip. “Hey, I made it!” responds the sweaty kid with his shoes untied and surprise on his face.
Maybe we’ll see him on TV someday, too.
As is true in any sport, if you do not believe you can make it from point A to point B, you won’t. But our South Dakota boys never even consider whether they can’t.
They patiently wait for when they will.
‘America’s Best Restaurants’ explores local cuisine in Sioux Falls
Honk, honk! “America’s Best Restaurants” made it up and down Interstate 29 this past month to feature some of the area's most beloved independent restaurants in the state. Did you see their van parked in front of your favorite place to eat?
Five regional businesses will be featured in episodes this fall: Carnaval Brazilian Grill in Sioux Falls, Squealer’s Smoke Shack Bar & Grill in Tea, Chud’s Pub and Grub in Iowa, The Lone Pine Grill in Watertown and Prime Time Tavern in Huron.
That’s a lot of local beef, and plentiful prairie to cover.
“We have to drive a lot to get from one restaurant to the next, but the scenery is so beautiful here,” said ABR host Danyel Detomo, who lives in North Carolina and has never spent time in South Dakota before this. “All the menu items were also very impressive.”
Detomo and her film crew interviewed all business owners within a week, bellying up to the table with each one to try at least three different recipes per visit. They’ll be touring North Dakota before the end of the month.
“I definitely loved the roasted pineapple, and the frozen pineapple drink,” Detomo said after her visit to Carnaval Brazilian Grill. “I could have kept going with that one.”
Marcelo Krunizky is the director of operations at the locally-owned restaurant that has been firing up their rotisserie since 2005. He emigrated from Brazil after graduating culinary school to help open the restaurant and has taken pride in Carnaval’s authentic rodizio service ever since.
“In Brazil, when we share a meal with friends and family, it is a time where we connect, take time to eat slowly, eat well and create memories,” he said. “We hope to bring some of that Brazilian hospitality to the audiences watching the show.”
It’s an equally special cultural experience at Squealer’s in Tea. For a decade now, the BBQ restaurant has been serving smoked pork, brisket, homemade sides and “Schwety Ball” wings that customers tout. But it’s the outdoor patio and sand volleyball courts that make for such an intimate community hangout.
Manager Roxie Stanga said 80 teams (nearly 1,000 players) participate in their annual summer league, which includes youth games, and they've nearly filled all spots already for next year.
“People love the atmosphere here,” Stanga said. “We have a tiki bar and music outside, and it’s absolutely the guests who keep enjoying Squealer’s that have gotten us to where we are today. It’s awesome.”
Stanga said the ABR crew was professional and enjoyable to work with when they visited in July. Host Detomo tried a French dip sandwich with prime rib, smoked chicken wings with homemade ranch, and their well-known “Smoke Shack” pulled pork patty with nacho cheese.
“Squealer’s has such a warm BBQ feel,” Detomo said. “It’s all so fun.”
Sioux Falls residents love a good place to eat. The many factors that ABR looks for when choosing to visit a restaurant – good customer reviews, engagement with the community, unique recipes – are also what make Midwestern menus so competitive.
Every spring, restaurants participate in the annual Burger Battle and the Downtown Pork Showdown to outstanding turnouts. Downtown Sioux Falls' events manager Jared Indahl said the competitions have been so successful, surrounding communities like Hartford, Brookings, Madison, Vermillion and others have reached out for advice on how to host similar menu contests. He's had out-of-state interest, too.
"Yes, it's a food competition with a trophy and bragging rights," Indahl, who has been organizing the Burger Battle for the past three years, said. "But our goal with these promotions is to get 'cheeks in seats' and increase foot traffic."
This past year, more than 76,000 burgers were sold downtown for the annual Burger Battle, and participating restaurants reported more than $1.2 million was spent on the featured burgers alone. Indahl said they continue to see both sales and votes increase every season.
"I hear directly from businesses that January is their most profitable month of the year because of Burger Battle, and January is typically a slow time for restaurants!" Indahl said.
“America’s Best Restaurants” anticipates the same success.
As an internet-based roadshow, the goal is to garner publicity for the region and to direct customers to each restaurant's Facebook page. "Fewer people watch the show live anymore," Detomo said. "You just get more views online!"
Then, after an episode has aired, ABR CEO Matt Plapp said many of the featured restaurants report up to a 30% traffic increase to their restaurants.
“Customers just want to come and see what all the excitement is about!” Detomo added.
While filming at Carnaval, the crew was entertaining, restaurant guests in the background were giddy to be a part of the show, and Detomo’s energy created a delightful experience. Krunizky said it was an honor to be chosen.
“We are all so excited right now,” said Carnaval server assistant Cassandra Nelson. She was still training as an employee and expressed her gratitude for Krunizky’s kindness. “It’s just a big family here. It’s been so much fun to be a part of this.”
Column: Homecoming season unites families, community
School spirit is not so much in the mascot or the pep rally or the fight song.
It’s about who shows up to the games.
Other than looking for parents in the stands, our high school athletes are also scanning the crowd for friends, neighbors, teachers, boyfriends and girlfriends, grandparents and cousins or that classmate in Algebra I. For any athlete on any team, it’s an emotional boost to see a familiar face showing up.
What a sight to see the bleachers full.
What music the clapping makes.
Homecoming is the pinnacle of this support. For weeks—even before the start of the school year—staff, coaches, students and parents prepare for a dedicated week that honors longtime traditions and deepens pride for the school communities we call home.
Families unite here. Teachers build careers here. Students dream here. High school is paramount in self-discovery and ambition, why wouldn’t we stand by any teenager’s side to sing their fight song along with them?
“High school athletics are all about camaraderie. ”
“High school athletics and activities are all about camaraderie,” said Jefferson High School football coach Vince Benedetto.
The Cavaliers will host their homecoming week Sept. 30 through Oct. 4. The Lincoln Patriots will, too.
Jefferson is newer to the Sioux Falls School District, and Benedetto said they are still working to build community. It’s like the first day of school for a long time: Acclimating in the hallways, getting to know staff and breaking in football turf.
Homecoming enriches all of that.
Benedetto said teachers and students enjoy their dress-up days for homecoming week and decorate classroom doors based on themes. He said his football team is establishing a new tradition called the Parent Sticker Ceremony, where Mom and Dad or grandparents or guardians or a friend who’s been by the quarterback’s side since day one come to the first scrimmage of the season to put the stickers on their athlete’s helmet.
“That has a lot of meaning for us,” Benedetto said.
Those are traditions alumni will pass down someday.
Traditionally, homecoming week for high schools in the U.S. is an opportunity every fall to “welcome home” alumni. These are advocates for a school that was once theirs, who still show up today because they are proud of where they came from. Maybe they want to uphold traditions. Maybe they want to hang on to a strong sense of identity. Maybe their own kids are there now.
Maybe they know what it feels like to see you waving in the stands.
Washington, the centenarian of public high schools in our community, will be the first to kick off homecoming next week, with powderpuff football on Sept. 17, volleyball on Sept. 18 and the football game on Sept. 20. The Warriors will play RC Stevens at Howard Wood Field, and the homecoming dance will be afterward.
Of course, among Washington and Jefferson, Lincoln and the Roosevelt Rough Riders, homecoming royalty will be crowned during coronations, a longtime tradition for the senior class. You’ll get to see the winning king and queen at all four football games on their respective Friday night games. Stick around to watch them wave from the middle of the field. Stand and clap when they are announced. What an honor for a 17-year-old in our community.
There is so much pomp and legacy in our school district. Listen quietly on Friday nights this fall, I bet you’ll hear the band. Get on the edge of town, I bet you’ll see our Friday Night Lights.
Better yet, be there. Enjoy the hot dog. Thank the boosters. Stay till the end. A school thrives best when its community is present, united and rallies for one another. It’s not just a football team or a school band or cross-country runners every fall. It’s one jersey. It’s one corner of Sioux Falls with the same colors on. Wear yours!
“We’ve got spirit, yes, we do! We’ve got spirit, how ’bout you?”
Let’s get out there.
Children’s choir singer in wheelchair denied access to stage
On Wednesday night at the Denny Sanford PREMIER Center, the Sioux Falls Children’s Choir stood upon risers to perform alongside rock band Foreigner for 9,000 people in a nearly sold-out concert.
But 12-year-old singer, Halle Bauman, who is in a wheelchair and has been performing with the choir for two years now, stayed home that night because she was denied access to the stage.
“This was brought to our attention a few hours before the show that there were safety concerns with getting (Halle) on stage,” said Jim Johnson, assistant general manager at the Denny Sanford Premier Center.
Even though the PREMIER Center is the host, it is the band and tour managers who are responsible for the set and equipment. And it was Foreigner’s team who decided not to invite Halle on stage after all, despite knowing since May that the Sioux Falls Children’s Choir had a student who uses a wheelchair and would need to be accommodated.
“We spoke to personnel and offered absolutely anything we could do to still make it happen, but that was ultimately a decision we couldn’t make,” Johnson said. “It was very frustrating on our end.”
Halle’s mother, Christa Bauman, said her family has attended events at the PREMIER Center before, and the officials have always been accommodating. She said she and choir director Kaela Schuiteman had spoken for months with the events center to “avoid this issue.”
“Then we were told while driving on our way to the show that they had changed their minds and that Halle’s wheelchair was a hazard onstage,” said Bauman, who said they turned around and went home after receiving the call from Katie Kirkland at the PREMIER Center. Bauman’s phone was on speaker. Halle heard the upsetting news at the same time Bauman did.
“This isn’t about us. Halle is just one person who uses a wheelchair, but everyday people in wheelchairs are discriminated against and put on a shelf or turned away. Until if affects your own life, people don’t notice the burden.”
“Halle was rightfully hurt and confused and devastated,” she said.
Johnson said that Foreigner and their team provide this kind of opportunity for local choirs often, asking kids to audition and then come up to sing a song with the band.
But Schuiteman said one of the tour managers’ “excuses” was that the pyrotechnics being used for the show were not safe for Halle, and, without a ramp that was ultimately not built as part of the stage set, Halle would not be able to exit the stage promptly if needed.
A representative of the band could not be reached for comment.
“When the band is dealing with a big production, I understand there are legalities,” Bauman said. "But you also are creative and can figure out a solution if you wanted to. They were lazy and didn’t want to deal with it.”
Schuiteman said she and her board members on Wednesday night were “still trying to figure something out” for Halle, even as the concert itself had already begun. The board had suggested to Halle’s mother that, if Halle couldn’t perform, no one was going onstage that night, but Bauman refused to upset the other kids and insisted they enjoy the show.
“She was so brave,” Schuiteman said. “Christa just said to try to let it go and have fun.”
Potential ADA violations
Molly O’Connor, executive director of REACH Literacy in Sioux Falls and a loyal advocate for accessibility and inclusion in the community, says this exclusion “is gut wrenching” and goes against the Americans with Disabilities Act.
“The ADA requires that public accommodations—including concert venues—provide equal access to their facilities for people with disabilities,” she said. “This, of course, would include performers who use mobility devices and require access to the stage.”
Bauman, who said Halle was diagnosed with spina bifida at birth, said she is exploring a dispute of this potential ADA violation.
“This isn’t about us,” she said. “Halle is just one person who uses a wheelchair, but everyday people in wheelchairs are discriminated against and put on a shelf or turned away. Until if affects your own life, people don’t notice the burden.”
That night, at about 9 p.m., the rest of the Sioux Falls Children’s Choir stood on stage and proudly sang, “I Want to Know What Love Is” as part of the encore with Foreigner.
“This mountain I must climb, feels like a world upon my shoulders,” they sang. “Through the clouds, I see love shine, keeps me warm as life grows colder.”
Even with what might feel like “the world” on Bauman’s shoulders, she said she persists in advocating for her daughter, as does Halle’s choir director, who said her board is considering adding a special concert to the end of their season so Halle can be celebrated. This was also Halle’s last season as part of the choir, which is for children in grades three through six. Halle is a seventh grader at Sioux Falls Christian and intends to sing for their choir as well.
“God gives us assignments,” Bauman said. “I didn’t want this assignment either, but that is the life we’ve been given. And along with it, comes opportunities to advocate.
“I also know that Halle is watching and listening to all of this,” she said. “This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for her. We have to do what we can to force change.”
Tanager Place shooting: Neighborhood ‘unsafe’ after fourth homicide in 2024
Officials with the Sioux Falls Police Department have confirmed that a Wednesday night shooting resulted in what is now being investigated as the city's seventh homicide of 2024.
Tanisha Bruguier, 27, died from a gunshot wound to the torso in the incident. Lifesaving measures were unsuccessful, and Bruguier was reported dead at the scene.
Police spokesman Sam Clemens said officers were called at about 11 p.m. to a trailer home in the 6000 block of West Tanager Place for reports of gunshots.
When they arrived, they found a home that had been struck by multiple bullets — the same house, Clemens said, that was shot about 16 times in an incident on Aug. 31. He said investigators believe the house was targeted on both Saturday and Wednesday nights, but it's unclear why it was targeted or who was targeted.
When officers were called to Tanager Place, 44-year-old Michael Spath II answered the door, and was uninjured, Clemens said. But Bruguier was found dying in a back bedroom facing north toward Fifth Street.
Clemens confirmed that Spath II was then arrested at about midnight Wednesday night at the house where Bruguier was found shot. He was charged with two counts of possession of a firearm by a former violent offender and also for maintaining a place where drugs are kept, sold or used, Minnehaha County court documents state. He was also arrested for possession of a controlled substance and paraphernalia, but the state declined to file those charges.
It's unclear whether the victim was a resident of the home or a visitor, but court records list that Spath II lived in the same home where the homicide occurred. A county property tax search shows Spath did not own the home.
Spath II is being held in the Minnehaha County Jail on a $30,000 bond and will have a preliminary hearing Sept. 19. As of Monday morning, Lt. Aaron Nyberg said there had been no new developments in the case they could share as the investigation continues.
Neighbors are 'paranoid'
Garbage day was Friday on Tanager Place. All the cans were lined along the neighborhood awaiting pick-up, lawns were freshly cut, gardens were full, and bikes were in the driveways while shoes sat on the doorsteps.
Students playing recess at Hayward Elementary School one block south could be heard outside.
After a fatal shooting in the neighborhood on Wednesday night, the atmosphere was an attempted return to normal on a sunny day.
“I’m not in fear, but I am concerned,” said Troy Potts, whose home is on the same street the fatality took place.
He has lived in the neighborhood for more than 20 years and said he has otherwise felt safe biking and walking the area on nice days.
Potts said he heard gunshots Wednesday night but not the Saturday before. A few other neighbors also said they never heard gunshots Saturday, just the ones on Wednesday night, when Bruguier was shot.
“So, did they catch him?” Potts asked about the suspect(s) who shot at the home.
Clemens said no arrests in connection with Saturday's or Wednesday's incidents have been made, and police are still asking the public for any information they may have.
A few houses down from Potts, resident Maynor Reyes Uricar said he was asleep in his home with his wife and two young children when he heard gunshots Wednesday night.
“It’s scary now, with my kids in the home,” he said.
Another neighbor, who is also a parent and asked not to be identified for the fear of becoming a target in a potentially already targeted situation in her neighborhood, said they also were in bed when they heard gunshots Wednesday night. Their bedroom faced north toward Fifth Street, just like the side of the house that was shot at multiple times.
“At first I stayed silent when I heard the gunshot,” the neighbor said. “I had my baby with me, and I was home alone. Then, I got a spooky feeling, so I called the non-emergency line to come out here.”
They said they checked the yard and assured safety. They also said police officers knocked on all doors on the street at about 2 a.m., alerting them to stay inside their homes and ask whether they knew anything or saw anything.
“I’m already paranoid and have an extra lock on my screen door,” the neighbor said, who also shared that other neighbors weren't even sure whether anyone was living in the home Bruguier was found dead. “I'm relieved that we’re moving to a new neighborhood at the end of the month."
Another resident on the street, Chris Lipp, also has his house for sale and said he and his wife plan to move soon.
Delayed determination of death
The shooting was originally reported in a press release late Thursday afternoon, confirming Bruguier had died but not specifying whether she had been shot.
Clemens said the delay between the shooting and the determination that the woman's death was homicide was due to the need to perform an autopsy, saying that authorities had wanted to rule out the possibility that Bruguier's cause of death had been a drug overdose.
Police did find drug residue at the home during the investigation, but from what kind of drug was not immediately available, Clemens said. He said the residue may be sent to a state lab for testing, but also clarified no arrests had been made in connection with the unknown substance.
"There used to be no danger here," Reyes Uricar said.
Sioux Falls parent speaks out on son’s death by shooting
Crystal Boehrns spoke frantically, like sentences with no commas from a mother who hadn’t slept in days.
Like a mother who was tired of repeating herself.
“Please don’t tell me you’re sorry,” she said.
“Please just stop asking me what you can do,” she said.
“Nothing will bring him back,” she said.
“Please,” she said twice more.
Boehrns is a 37-year-old grieving parent who has more than 50 text messages on her phone, even more on social media, calls that keep coming, voicemails, knocks on her door, family “bombarding” and a copy-and-paste response for them all:
Please just let me be.
At about 3 a.m. Aug. 20, Boehrns awoke to the knocks that started it all, from two police officers at her door telling her that one of her children was in the hospital with a life-threatening gunshot wound to the face. It would be more than an hour before she got to see him.
Only then, it would be to say goodbye.
Deontaé Montrell Boehrns, who turned 17 last month, died that same morning when Boehrns herself had to take him off life support. He was the second of her seven children, a “spicy” teenager who “just wanted to be free, Mom.” She said he was handsome, a caring friend, hard-headed, a good brother, and “at the wrong house at the wrong time.”
“I feel like I could scream at the top of my lungs right now and then sit there for hours not breathing,” she said. “I’m just so angry. It’s a lot.”
Read about what happened:A Sioux Falls woman, her 13-year-old son charged after a 17-year-old dies in 'accidental shooting'
According to a written affidavit by Lt. Carter Hand, with the Sioux Falls Police Department, Boehrns’ son was the victim of what was investigated as an “accidental shooting” and later deemed a homicide in the bedroom of a 13-year-old while a few friends were playing video games in the middle of the night.
Two handguns were in the room, one of which was stolen from an unlocked car the week prior – the one that stole Deontaé’s life.
But, according to Boehrns, her son was “unfortunately” in a home he had never been in before and shot by a 13-year-old he never knew.
She said he went to the house with his best friend, went upstairs to an unfamiliar bedroom and sat on a computer chair next to a couple Xbox consoles. Boehrns said she was told that Deontaé wasn’t even aware there was a gun in the room until the 13-year-old started holding it up to her son’s face in jest.
“Accident or not," she said, “it still happened.”
Among the four or five kids in the bedroom where the shooting occurred, Deontaé was the oldest.
After initial statements from witnesses first reported that Deontaé “shot himself,” as noted in the affidavit, Boehrns said she was told the truth of what happened that night by her son’s best friend.
She said Deontaé’s best friend was the one who was sitting right next to Deontaé when he died, and he’s the one who provided an accurate account to the detectives after the 13-year-old’s mother was charged with false reporting. The mother, Savannah Randle, 33, of Sioux Falls, was also charged with accessory to manslaughter and nine counts of child abuse in relation to the case.
Boehrns said Deontaé’s best friend, who has had “a rough couple of days,” was at the ER with her, worried for his friend, and that he is the one she trusts.
“Everyone else was so scared to tell the truth,” Boehrns said, expressing frustration that detectives “didn't even get the story right” when they finally told her in the ER what had even happened to her son.
The mother of the best friend, age 16, could not be reached for comment, and the teenager was not publicly identified in court documents because of his age.
“I don’t know any mother who could sit by and allow my son to suffer the way she did just to cover her own son’s wrongdoing," Boehrns said. "It’s wrong.”
Support from schools
Two days later, Broehns awoke steadfastly to still ensure Deontaé’s siblings arrived at both Edison Middle School and Laura Wilder Elementary for their first day of school.
It’s where they are safest right now, Boehrns said. His younger siblings range in age from 6 to 13.
“I just want them to have recess,” she said. “I want them to go and make friends. I don’t want them to feel stressed. I want them to know that everything is going to be OK.”
As for Deontaé, he was a student at Axtell Park. Just two weeks ago, Boehrns said her son told her, “I’m going to make sure I finish school for you, Mom.” She said he had a new job, a new checking account they had just opened for him at the bank and that he wanted to “save up” to get his own home.
“This is what I want to do for you, Mom,” he told her before what would have been his first day of senior year.
Boehrns said she is grateful for the compassion that the schools have shown to her family and friends.
“My kids have nothing but the best support there," she said.
DeeAnn Konrad, the community relations coordinator at the Sioux Falls School District, says their crisis teams have skilled staff to respond to grief for both students and their families.
“It’s an unfortunate necessity we need to have,” Konrad said. “Of course, we always look at the academic needs of the child, but the social and emotional needs are critically important to help get them the best education they can. And if a student is having challenges working through their emotions, we make sure they receive all the support we have available.”
Tory Stolen, a multimedia specialist for the Sioux Falls School District, added that the crisis teams act as a liaison between the students and their families and local agencies, such as the Helpline Center, Southeastern Behavioral Health, Avera Counseling Services and the Sioux Empire United Way's PATH program, which provides counseling sessions at the schools for K-12.
'Not the city I grew up in'
Anthony Cortez said Deontaé was “a good kid.”
Deontaé had just started working for Cortez at Boston’s Pizza Restaurant & Sports Bar. They hadn't even been open a month when Cortez received a phone call about Deontaé.
“This has affected everyone here,” said Cortez, who is general manager at the new restaurant inside the Sioux Falls Ramada. “These kids are young, we’re still building bonds and connecting with one another.”
Deontaé has relatives who work at the restaurant and at the hotel, so the tragedy has been personal. A sign at the host stand shows a picture of Deontaé, with a GoFundMe link to support his family.
A new restaurant, still settling in, still meeting new customers, and in grief.
“This is just not the city I grew up in,” Cortez said, who has worked in management for nearly 20 years and is raising a family in Sioux Falls.
“I’m a gun owner myself, and I have three daughters,” he said. “They know the severity of what happens when guns are not dealt with properly.”
Cortez said that further community safety initiatives need to be in place as gun violence increases in our community and that local gun owners need to be sure their guns are secure.
An Argus Leader review in 2022 of stolen gun data reported that most guns in the state at that time were stolen from unlocked vehicles, like the handgun stolen in Deontaé’s case. South Dakota law enforcement officers also stated at the time that the number of minors involved in stealing those guns is increasing.
“We’ve seen a number of cases where juveniles are using stolen guns in committing different crimes,” said Sgt. Paul Creviston in the 2022 article.
Lastly, data from The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) showed in 2022 that the most commonly stolen gun in South Dakota in 2020 was a 9-milimeter handgun, the same gun that was used when Deontaé was fatally shot.
“Gun safety needs to be prioritized in education,” he said. “You see this in video games but, in reality, you don’t get to come back from that.”
Boehrns said that, before her son was shot, the kids in the bedroom were likely playing “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare,” a first-person shooter video game in which defenseless characters are killed with no motive. According to the Pew Research Center, over half of U.S. gamers younger than 18 play violent games like this.
The report, published in May, also states over half of teens who play video games do say the social activity helps with their problem-solving skills. Nearly half also share that they have made a friend online because of playing a video game. But 80% of young gamers think harassment and bullying while gaming "is a problem for people their age."
Cortez said his team appreciated Deontaé for who he was. “It’s just sad that it resulted in what it did,” he said.
Honoring a teenager's life
Stolen said that classrooms or classmates cannot organize vigils or memorials on school grounds for a friend who died. But Boehrns’ friends have set up a GoFundMe website to support her family, and they celebrated the life of Deontaé on Wednesday, at the George Boom Funeral Home in Sioux Falls.
“I want everyone to know that my baby deserves to be acknowledged,” Broehns said. “He was always finding the positive, and I want to give that back.”
Family and friends, more than 100 of them, all wore black and red to the funeral, with matching sweatshirts that said “Long Live Deontaé” on the back and a photo of him on the front. Another sweatshirt read, “Forever screaming, I'll forever rep yo name.”
There were red roses atop his casket, young kids consoling their mothers, and Deontaé’s siblings close by their mother's side while Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey’s “One Sweet Day” played in the background.
And I know you’re shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way
And I know eventually we’ll be together
One sweet day
“We got to find some light in this,” said Deontaé’s “unc” Joshua Durrah. Durrah helped Deontaé get the job at Boston’s and had been encouraging him to finish school and stay on the right track.
“In honor of my nephew, I want to start a nonprofit called Breaking Cycles,” he said. “The nonprofit will help to prevent gun violence, sexual abuse and all the other things that kids should not have to go through here.”
Among Durrah, gathered other aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings, dressed in sharp black tuxedos and huddling close together in mourning. People kept pulling into the parking lot, car by car, to go in and quietly honor Deontaé.
Durrah knew grief. He lost his brother, Deontaé’s father, in 2022, and he lost his mother the year before that.
“It's taking me a lot to be here today and to be in a right place,” he said, dressed in a bright red shirt and holding his daughter, Lou. “We have to channel this energy into a positive light and help to prevent this from happening to somebody else.”
Deontaé was on the right track, his mother said. She stood solemnly by her son’s open casket Wednesday and was surrounded by loved ones as she stood to greet guests at the visitation.
He was “happy in the last days of his life,” she said, and she was excited for him.
Now she’s without him, and she said she just wants to be left alone.
“I am grateful for all your support,” she said, speaking to all the calls and texts and thoughtful outreach. “But I’ve done this for 17 years by myself. I've never asked for any help. What you can do now is just … when you see me, just give me a hug.”
An annual fundraiser is giving courage to those with cystic fibrosis
Ashley Ballou-Bonnema has less than 50 percent lung capacity. She might tire walking along our bike trails before you do or go in for blood draws on a holiday weekend. She might stay home and worry about her liver enzyme levels while you go to a basketball game and not even notice the crowd. For her, every breath is a relief.
But she can sing.
Ballou-Bonnema was born with cystic fibrosis, an invisible disease that causes thick mucus to clog the lungs and the digestive system. This leads to malnutrition, respiratory infections, chronic coughs, salty skin and wheezing. Her older brother died of CF when he was a teenager and would be 44 years old today.
But she still sings.
Our community is so abundant with local nonprofits to support. The Washington Pavilion held its annual gala this past spring and raised nearly $160,000 for its visual arts programs. The Children’s Home Society just raised over half a million dollars at their annual Caring for Kids fundraiser. Sioux Falls Cares delivers meals to families in need every Christmas, and the Ty Eschenbaum Foundation’s annual Earn the Gift Gala raised nearly $240,000 last year for youth cancer survivors. Over 800 people were in attendance.
Last year, with over 350 people in an entire day of rain, Ballou-Bonnema hosted her own fundraiser for Breathe Bravely, a global nonprofit that advocates for people with CF.
They sing.
“Singing has saved my life so many times,” Ballou-Bonnema says. “It’s about the spirit of what our voices can do.”
Breathe Bravely is a local nonprofit that connects people worldwide living with CF through the opportunity to sing. They provide virtual 1:1 voice lessons with professional instructors who promote the foundational mechanics of breathing, good posture and self-confidence.
“Our teachers really understand that it’s not even about the talent or the output,” Ashley says. “It’s about believing in the effort, the potential and music as the tool.”
Singing opens the lungs, for anyone. It requires respiratory strength and breath management that also serves someone with CF very well. The day might be scary, unknown, and the body might be worn, but when someone with CF sings, they feel peaceful and full, not lacking.
Breathe Bravely is a virtual program because people living with CF cannot be in the same room together, for fear of spreading unsafe bacteria with one another. Covid was nothing new for CF patients— they’ve always needed six feet of space and a mask in their purse. Their bodies are incredibly vulnerable, and their time is finite.
But there is still power in the gathering. Ashley says participants join the Zoom call and don’t even talk about CF. They are just grateful to have a safe space together, to understand one another without words, and to not have a secret they don’t even want to keep. For once, they’re understood and free.
“CF isn’t a fair disease,” she says. “It has no remorse. But, it is not what has been given to me. It is who has been given to me in this priceless life. These are some of my best friends! They are my family.”
Ashley has always advocated for herself. She knew the power of singing was serving her lungs well. It was a boost to her emotionally and physically. She feels more in control when she sings. And Breathe Bravely is to give that confidence away.
“Cystic Fibrosis isn’t a fair disease. It has no remorse. But, it is not what has been given to me. It is who has been given to me in this priceless life. ”
“A comfortable place of silence does no one any good,” Ashley says. “It doesn’t promote progress or protect the people I love. Fatigue only begets fatigue, so you can either sit and wallow, or you can do and enjoy. I enjoy.”
This weekend, you’ll be able to watch some of the virtual choirs on the big screen at the Levitt. And you’ll have no idea that their body is not as strong as ours. They are beautiful together. No matter that the song is beautiful or that they are singing beautifully— you’ll be most moved to realize the risk of something as free as a song: They are breathing bravely.
Ashley is among many in Sioux Falls who uses her energy to teach us so that we might support one another with a greater understanding.
I don’t have CF— I don’t know the pain of an embolization procedure or the stress of daily treatments or the fear of a fatal disease— but my friend Ashley does, and if singing makes her feel better, I want to help her sing.